"Each morning we are born again. What we do today is what matters most."
-Buddha
The amazing thing about time is that it keeps going. It is divided up into todays, yesterdays, and tomorrows that fall about and tumble together into a somewhat confusing albeit exciting compilation that is our life. Yesterday does not determine today; rather, they meld together with the fading of the stars and the rising of the sun. One thing I have learned is that while one particular moment may seem all-consuming and like it is the defining moment of all of your days to come, in reality, it is just that--a particular moment. A mere flicker in the face of time and space. A wrinkle in time, if you will. What may formalize your day is just serving to mold you as a person, to give you the bumps and folds that are necessary to become the final product (which, arguably, you may never reach). The passage of time allows for experience, which is "a particular instance of personally encountering or undergoing something." So, by definition, things are going to happen to you. Good things, bad things, but mostly in-between, mundane things. We take these experiences and integrate them into ourself, continually forming a new being, a fresh self. Each morning we wake up with different happenings under our belt which have equipped us to see the world differently. To be trite, we live and we learn, no?
Like the ebb and flow of the ocean, our days are in constant flux. Sometimes we are riding the wave and sometimes we are crashing, flailing beneath the undertow. The thing about a wave though is that while it must crash, it must also recede back into the bigger entity that is the ocean, coasting along until the next tide. Similarly, while we have periods where we are at our lowest of lows, by nature we can't stay there. An object in motion stays in motion or whatever. We keep on moving.
And, if we are so fortunate, we are given another day! How wonderful is it to wake up to a fresh start (particularly today, a new month), knowing that whatever happened yesterday does not to bear on whatever is going to happen today? My September 30 was one of those terrible-no-good-very-bad-days, but I went to bed (fuzzy socks and all) determined to make my October 1st different. It may not be the best day I've ever had, but it won't be as bad as yesterday. All I want is change. And only actions beget change, so the outcome of this day is up to me--what will I do with the time that I have been given? While laying in my bed yesterday for hours upon hours, time a non-issue, I felt that this was my eternity. But, naturally (classic Madeline), I was wrong. A new day has come and a new me commences. What did I learn from my September 30th blues? That I can, in fact, stand up when I am down. That people do care about me and I am not all alone in this world. The world does not exist solely in my head, thank goodness. When I down, I need to get out into the fresh air (hello fall!) and realize that there is so much more than those thoughts swirling around up there.
So today I will pay attention to the leaves crunching under my feet, the slightly-warrmer-than-usual breeze on my cheeks, the way the blue sky outlines the ridges on the top of College Hall. Because tomorrow will be different, so I better enjoy today for what it is. Which is new.
xx
